Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Look on the Bright Side

A reminder, courtesy of The Daily Mash, that when the Tories get back in next year for a generation, at least the comedy will get funnier.

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BARONESS Thatcher was under sedation last night after trying to close the ward where she is being treated.

The claw has injured four nurses
The former prime minister threatened to sack medical staff at the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital after they refused to give her a choice of dressings for her broken claw.

Consultant Denys Finch-Hatton said: "She was initially amused by the karmic forces that brought her under the care of an organisation she fucked sideways with a melon for over a decade.

"But then she became very agitated, got on the phone to Norman Tebbit and told him to sell the hospital to some Chinese gangsters."

He added: "We've made her as comfortable as possible which means, thanks to the enduring effects of her 11 years in power, she's currently propped up outside the gents."

Although Lady Thatcher is in a stable condition, her accident and her advanced age has created a dilemma for the New Labour politicians who have continued her work while simultaneously begging the trade unions for money.

A Downing Street source said: "In the event of her popping off, we'll have to say something that is statesman-like but does not alienate traditional Labour voters. Then again there is only about four of them.

"What about a full state funeral with a 21-gun salute, but at the end we drop her down a disused coal shaft?"

Meanwhile Martin Bishop, a former Liverpool dock worker, said he remained in a permanent state of readiness, adding: "I've got my fireworks, my bunting and two crates of Stella. It's going to be fucking mint."

Monday, June 8, 2009

Ashamed to be British. Ashamed to be from Barnsley

The Hitler-Loving Nazi elected to represent Yorkshire in Europe.  I want to die.

We used to call it the People's Republic of South Yorkshire.  It was so Labour, so socialist, there was hardly any point anyone else campaigning.

And now we see for ourselves, in our lifetimes, how fascism can take hold.  Even with twenty-first century communications, we see how lies and distortion can be allowed to stand, if faced by total incompetence and a sense that voters are being ignored by those in power.

16% of voters in Barnsley voted BNP.  

One in six of the people I grew up with, had a pint with, went to school with, voted for a fucking Nazi.  

This cunt used to be the leader of the British National Front.  He's an 'academic' who has attempted to develop a 'scientific' rationale for racism.  He led marches where people shouted "we've got to get the blacks out" and was once arrested and convicted of behaviour likely to cause a breach of the peace after being heard chanting "death to jews".  

If you call your party the National Front, it kind of suggests you agree with everything Hitler said and did.  If there's any doubt, the party was founded on Hitler's birthday, for fuck's sake. 

And this is who the former socialists of Yorkshire have elected as their ambassador to Europe, while Hitler's actions are still well within living memory. 

Shame on the people of Barnsley.  Shame on a supposedly Labour government - this happened not because of "mass immigration", which doesn't exist, but because you've spent so fucking long licking the arse of Daily Mail-reading 'middle England' you've completely forgotten about the people who were once the backbone of your support.  Hang your head in shame Brown - and you Blair.  I want to throw up.